the science experiment

Scientific method is a simple concept:

1. Ask a Question
   
2. Do Background Research
   
3. Construct a Hypothesis
   
4. Test Your Hypothesis by Doing an Experiment
   
5. Analyze Your Data
   
6. Draw a Conclusion
   
7. Communicate Your Results
   

I was never very good at this in junior high science class, but I get it now.

Scientific method in practice at the Grapes household:

1. Question: was the UTI home test strip I just used too old to be accurate?
   
2. Background Research: the bottle says they expired in 2008, and it's 2010. Symptoms of a UTI include frequent and urgent needs to urinate and burning sensation during urination. I may old test strips that give Me a positive result, but I also have those symptoms.
   
3. Hypothesis: if just anyone pees on the test strip and it turns bright purple then the strip is too old to provide an accurate result (or we BOTH have UTIs).
   
4. Experiment to Test Hypothesis:
   Me: husband, can you come pee on this?
   Husband: what?
   Me: I need you to pee on this.
   Husband: ok. (sidenote: I love that this was his answer.)
   
5. Analyze Data: mine was bright purple, my husband's was pee colored.
   
6. Conclusion: the test strip works fine and I have a UTI.
   
7. Communicate Your Results: hi, Dr. P, where do I go to get a UTI treated on a Saturday morning?
   

why not?

When my dad was traveling a lot for work, it meant a lot of late night trips to the airport for a dad pick-up.

A particular favorite pick-up was the time Noel "Paul" Stookey walked off the plane ahead of my dad.

GrammaNora: Paul Stookey was on the plane with you!
Grandpa: yes.
GrammaNora: did you sing the zoo song?
Grandpa: no.
GrammaNora: why not?
Grandpa: Honey...

Later at the baggage claim:
GrammaNora: there he is again. Should I ask him if he wants to sing the zoo song?
Grandpa: Honey... No.
GranmmaNora: oh, come on.
Grandpa: let's go, I need to get some dinner.

Even later at Wendy's:
GrammaNora: Paul Stookey's here! It's fate! I have to do it.
Grandpa: oh, god.
GrammaNora, but not to Grandpa: I have this urge to sing the zoo song.
Paul (of Peter, Paul and Mary): well, why don't we?
Both (in perfect harmony): mama's takin' us to the zoo tomorrow, zoo tomorrow, zoo tomorrow. mama's takin' us to the zoo tomorrow and we can't stay all day.

mix tapes

When we were kids, long car trips were regular occurrences. A couple hours to get out the cottage. A couple days to get to get to the Adirondacks.
When we were kids, long car trips had music in the form of Grandpa's mix tapes.

They went something like this:

1. Holiday Road (from the National Lampoon's Vacation soundtrack)
   
2. Holiday Road
   
3. Chariots of Fire
   
4. Chariots of Fire
   
5. End of the Line
   
6. End of the Line
   
7. Gremlin's Theme
   
8. Gremlin's Theme
   

When we were younger, we loved this. We sang along to everything with words - "Holiday ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAD, Holiday ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOad."

"Well it's AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALL Right, ridin' around in the breeze, well it's AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALL right, if you live the life you please."

But as we got older and learned how to make our own mix tapes, we were careful to balance ballads with the stuff that really rocked; allow for a transition from slow to fast; and keep a carefully timed, 3-second lapse between each song to ensure that the AMS worked on the tape deck (just in case we did want to rewind a song and listen to it twice). Never would we waste a precious moment of the allotted 45 minutes per side with the same artist, let alone repeating the same song!

As we got older, the purchase of a vehicle with CD player meant that you could use the back button to repeat a song. The advent of music downloads meant that you had the whole world of music at your fingertips. The repeats and wasted space was a thing of the past!

As we climbed into Grandpa's new Ford Excursion, and saw the CD player, we were overwhelmed with joy. The days of mix tapes have come to an end. Grandpa had made a CD.


Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand ... no.

1. Holiday Road
   
2. Holiday Road
   
3. End of the Line
   
4. End of the Line
   
5. If I Had a Million Dollars
   
6. If I Had a Million Dollars
   
7. Holiday Road
   

We're not giving this man an i-pod.

complete lunatic or world's best dad?

So far, one of my most favorite stories of the next generation of Grapes is my nephew's love for large trucks and tractors, and the lengths to which my brother is willing to go to satisfy the truck and tractor cravings.

My brother (.3) will go running with my nephew (.4) and they will go past construction sites because they are filled with tractors, trucks, back-hoes and cranes. They may take a few laps around the block (despite inhalation of copious amounts of construction dust) in response to .4's pleas of "tractor 'dain, Daddy! Tractor 'dain!"

In his bedroom, .4 will hear the dump truck go by and will watch, enrapt, as the red truck inches slowly up the street, the men jumping off the back to pick up trash cans. "Dump truck 'dain!" Fortunately, the dump truck DOES come again, because once the trash is collected, it returns to collect the recycling.

Unfortunately, there is no repeat for the fire truck. "Fire truck 'dain, Daddy! Fire truck 'dain!"

.3: I don't know what to do? I feel so bad. I want him to see the fire truck again, because he just seems so sad. I almost want to start a fire so the fire trucks have to come back and stay for him.

I don't know. While arson is one route, maybe the better option would be to take your next run to the fire station.

that'll teach her

I was complaining to my husband about the way my boss responded to something today. I was so angry I wanted to quit - she acted like the work product I had turned in was a waste of her time, as well as proof that I'm the biggest moron ever to have worked for her.
Me: I seriously considered walking right out of the office.
Husband: no.
Me: yes. I was so insulted and angry.
Husband: I'm going to go in to her office and tell her 'you leave my gorgeous alone!'
Me: that might be kind of hard' she's out of town for the rest of this month and most of next month.
Husband: well... Then... I will leave a note.

He's such a good husband.

I'm 29

We ran a road race on Saturday, and I was 29.

I love this. I love 29.

On my 29th birthday, my (now) husband (then boyfriend) and I skipped work, went for a nice hike and went to Red Robin for lunch. When I went to the bathroom, my (now) husband told the waitress that it was my birthday.

Husband: It's my girlfriend's birthday.
Waitress: Oh, yeah, how old is she?
Husband: Twenty-nine.
Waitress: Right, "twenty-nine" {and she made quotes with her fingers!}
Husband: She's really twenty-nine.
Waitress: uh-huh.

It was fun to be 29 again.

inspired by chinese food

So my husband and I had just finished a DELICIOUS lunch of left-over Chinese food when my husband lets out a sleepy-eyed moan of pleasure and says, "If I could eat ONE thing for the rest of my life, it would be ...

mac and cheese."

Sorry General Tso, you and your buddy Pork-Fried Rice only made honorable mention -- like Top 5.

a relaxation exercise

Allow your breath to become relaxed and even. Inhale - fill your lungs. Exhale - release the stale air. Relax.

Relax your toes.
Relax your feet.
Relax your ankles and legs. Your hips, your lower back.
Relax your fingers and hands.
Relax your arms.
Relax your shoulders.

head shoulders knees and toes, knees and toes. Head shoulders knees and toes, knees and tooooooooooooooooes...

Oh, sorry.

Relax your abdomen and ribs.
Relax your chest.
Relax your shoulders.

I said relax your shoulders.

Do it, now.

Relax them. Relax your shoulders!

GODDAMMIT! RELAX YOUR SHOULDERS!

WHY AREN'T YOU RELAXING? GOD! EVERYONE JUST CALM DOWN! JUST FRIGGIN' CALM DOWN.

You look like you're holding your breath. Why are you holding your breath? I told you to inhale AND exhale.

EXHALE!

it's bastille day!

This is the 37th Bastille Day that my parents have celebrated as a married couple.

In 37 years, I wonder if my dad has ever threatened to wipe his butt with my mom's pillowcase. It only took my husband 14 months. To be fair, I had just wiped a booger on his arm.

37 years is a long time...

HAPPY 37TH ANNIVERSARY, PARENTS!!

Birthday Weirdo, Grandpa!

We love you.

happy birthday!

small vanilla cones

My mom and I stopped for ice cream today. This place is our FAVORITE. They have fantastic flavor combinations that you just have to eat every day, so we go all the time when we are at The Bay.

This week, one of their combinations was a blueberry/black cherry twist that was SO DELICIOUS that I have already had it three times (what rut?). For some reason, today I switched it up a little and ordered a small vanilla cone with crunch coat. This reminded me of a classic Grandpa moment.

When we used to drive home from the cottage, we would always want to stop a Dairy Queen. It didn't matter how soaking wet and cold we were from playing in the creek, we wanted ice cream. We would whine and carry on until we finally got to Dairy Queen and my dad would sigh and say, "All right, but you're all getting small vanilla cones." Then Mom would say, "Make mine a twist."
Dad: "Yes, and I'm getting a raspberry milkshake."
Kids: "Oh, I want a blizzard/mine with crunch coat/a large!"
Depending on how Dad was feeling (and to this day, I have no idea what swayed him one way or the other on any given drive home), we would end up with the ice cream of our choice or a small vanilla cone.