"You're not boring." ~in response to one of my many crazy ideas or comments (god only knows which one).
"Mo-dog, you a-hole!" ~when Mo-dog didn't listen to us telling him to stop pulling garbage out of the trash can (to be clear, he did not edit the ss out of the a-word, and we didn't take the trash can away from him. Bad owners! Bad owners!)
"That never works in the Amazing Race." ~in response to my suggestion that we follow a Maine car through Connecticut to see if they had a better idea of how to get from Connecticut to Maine than we did.
"I'm done with this." ~of the gum my husband subsequently spit into my hand (to be fair, I offered him my hand).
"I didn't like that commercial either. Trashy ho gets to have a baby..." ~when we failed to fast-forward through a "Bethenny Getting Married" ad for the day she had the baby.
Me: Is that a girl book?
Husband: No, it's a unicorn book.
"Do you remember your old supervisor? Because I remember your old supervisor, and I don't like her, and you don't like her. Maybe right now, after a bad day, it seems like a good idea to go back to your old job, but really, it's just not."
~~My husband after I suggested that maybe I should just go get my old job back after the worst week in the history of my current job.
"I love it when you're righteously indignant." In response to yet another rant to another car that CIGARETTE BUTTS ARE LITTER.
About our mailman:
Me: what's our mailman's name?
Husband: I don't know.
Me: is it Kevin?
Husband: I don't know.
Me: can we call him Kevin?
Husband: ok. The mailman is Kevin until further notice.
"If you and I crapped at the same rate she does we'd crap out a volkswagen." husband on the volume of poop in the baby's diaper.
"Massachusetts. Where's my pineapple?" My husband in response to the "Massachusetts welcomes you" sign.
